I honestly didn't have high hopes, but if your very specific question is, "Was it better than Salem's Lot 2024?" My reply would be something like "Meh," with a dramatic eyeroll mostly because you made me think of that flaming turd of a movie.
I'll make this short and sweet. Tone, art, feel, characters (for the most part), are spot on. You'll feel right at home if, like me, you loved the original. I think the two best characters are Bob, the shrunken head guy, and Catherine O'Hare's reprisal of Delia Deetz. Jenna Ortega was decent, though not her best work. And, either I was under a spell in the 80s, or Winona Rider has become a terrible actress. But even the nearly-immortal Michael Keaton was disappointing. Like a bad impersonation of a bad impersonation of the character.
It all falls on Tim Burton though. It is so blatantly obvious that no one was there to say, "Okay Timmy. Rein it in a bit. You're getting too silly, too gross, and too reliant on your actors first takes." I'm looking at you executive producer Brad Pitt! If you have an all-star cast and every single one of them, minus one of the shittiest characters from the original, turn in garbage performances, it's 100% the director’s fault.
And yes, the horror author is complaining about it being gross. There are scenes and images that are so ridiculously stupid that no amount of green bile/puss and demonic baby births can save it. And if you think I "don't have the guts," just wait until the Juice slits open his own stomach to spill his intestines all over the place just to land that joke.
2 stars and 1 of those is just for the nostalgia/member berries. I will never watch it again, which says a lot considering I’ve seen the original somewhere between 50 and 100 times. It’s like The Princess Bride or A Knight’s Tale. If it was on tv, I’d watch it. Friday night family feature even. Though, I do enjoy watching Hollywood burn money on things that should have been easy, slam dunks.
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